On The Way To Love
by EyeCandy
Summary: A visit from a messenger guides two lost hearts to love and destiny. MY FIRST JAG FIC! R&R please!
1. Mandy

On The Way To LoveBy EyeCandy

Summary: A visit from a messenger guides two lost hearts to love and : Romance ( only way to go!)Pairing: Mac/Harm (DUH!)Rating: most likely G to PG... but I haven't finished this so who knows.

Disclaimers: Uh.. well.. let me put it this way. I'm a single mom... Nuff said! Besides if I owned the show.. do you seriously believe i'd been putting this up on here? it would be a script for the SHOW! hello! LOL The title is from a song with the same name by Patti Austin.. so It's not mine either. I just like to play in the big sandbox of other peoples ideas! they might be returned slightly dirty, but none the worst for ware.

Author's notes: Well, after not writing ANYTHING for like... AGES I've finally found some sort of inspiration! YAY ME! so I got this idea from a dream I had. (if I tell you more about the dream it will ruin the story) and also the song from which the title is derived and the fact that Barry Manilow was on On Air with Ryan Seacrest this passed week... dont ask. I'm not even a manilow fan! weirdness! it just worked out... I think the song Mandy by him helped a little too... OH! this is my first Attempt at JAG! so be on the nicer side when telling me I SUCK! thanks!...Ok! ON WITH THE SHOW! Enjoy!

Chapter One: Mandy

Glencrest ParkNot for from JAG HQ1300 zulu

She waited for him. He was always late. They agreed to meet for lunch in the park today, opting for a relaxed lunch rather than their usual working one. She thought back in her mind of all the times she was waiting for him. She realized, there wasn't ever a time where she wasn't waiting for him, either literally or in any other way.

She sighed and leaned back. Why did he hide his feelings for her? Sure they were partners, and under the same chain of command, which meant they couldn't vocalize to the public how they felt for each other, but STILL! they could be together privately couldn't they?

"no... "she said aloud. no they couldn't, because if they were ever caught, it would be a article 32 for both of them.

Sarah Mackenzie growled low under her breath. she knew how she felt for Harm. she so desperately wanted to tell him, to have him return her feelings. But she knew that even if Harm felt the same for her, he would never tell her.

She checked her internal clock. Harm was 10 minutes late now. she sighed again and looked around, wondering if she could see him.

She looked around the park, the sun was bright and the breeze was warm and inviting. Spring has certainly sprung around here. She noticed the playground over in the corner. Children played happily on the jungle gyms and slides. Their laughter carried over to her on the bench hundred yards away. She watched for a moment. She wondered to herself if she would ever have the chance to have children of her own one day. She sighed It seemed that her wish was still a ways away.

Something then caught her eye. She saw a little girl with dark hair in a white spring sun dress running in her direction. Her hair was just below her chin, it was straight and pulled up into small pigtails on either side of her head which curled gently at the bottom in a ringlet style. The look was completed by the two blue ribbons holding the pigtails in place. As the girl came closer, Mac noticed that the world around her began to slow down with each step the girl took until only herself and the girl moved. It was like looking at a freeze little girl moved up to Mac and smiled. Mac was confused. what was happening?

"Hello" the girl spoke, her voice was light and soft, she could not have been any more that 6 years old. Mac blinked and looked at the girl.

"Hello... what's happening?" Mac asked, still confused. but the little girl just smiled.

"I'm Mandy" the girl said as she took Mac's hand. It was then that Mac saw the brilliant green eyes that the girl had. Very familiar green eyes.

"Hi Mandy, i'm Mac" Mac said smiling finally.

"You have very pretty eyes" she continued.

"I got them from my daddy" Mandy replied as she sat down next to Mac.

"Did you? well your daddy has pretty eyes then too" Mac said.

Who was this girl? Where was her parents? what was going on? everything ran through Mac's mind like a speeding train. Mac looked at the girl again.

Mandy smiled and took Mac's other hand, holding them in her tiny ones, her small slender fingers where long. Piano fingers Mac mused as she looked down at them. Mac remembered her mother trying to coax her onto playing the piano because she was born with the fingers for it. Mandy sighed, and this caught Mac's attention.

"Mac…" Mandy started, her vibrant green eyes staring into Mac's deep brown ones. Mac waited, knowing that the girl wanted to say something more.

"If you wait any longer, you will loose sight of the road.. " Mandy finished. Mac again was confused.

"What road Mandy?" Mac inquired, her delicate eyebrow raising in an arch.

"The road not taken" Mandy said. Mac remembered the fortune cookie from the other night at the chinese restaurant. What was this child trying to tell her? Mandy squeezed Mac's hand and hopped off the bench.

"Mandy, where are you going?" Mac asked holding tight to the child's hand. She needed more from her, she wasn't sure what she meant.

Mandy patted Mac's hand to ease her.

"Everywhere you are, I will be" Mandy said as she let go of Mac's hand. Mandy's voice held a wisdom beyond her years.

"Wait! Mandy!" Mac called as she saw the girl skip off toward the playground. When Mac blinked, Mandy was gone.

The world started up again, Mac urgently looked around for the girl she had seen, but there was no sign of her.

Mac sighed and checked her internal clock. It was only 3 minutes later than the last time she checked. She looked around again and out of the corner of her eyes she saw Harm walking over.

"Your late flyboy" Mac said with her usual sarcasm as she stood to greet Harm.

"By how much this time" Harm asked as he flashed her the flyboy grin.

"13 minutes and 5 seconds" Mac countered then looked up into his eyes.

There, staring back at her were those eyes, Mandy's eyes. Mac's eyes widened, replaying what the girl had said to her in her mind.

_I got them from my daddy _Mac's eyes grew slightly wider. _Everywhere you are, I will be _Mac smiled then, recovering from her shock.

"Well, lets not waste anymore time then "Harm said as he sat down and started looking through the bagged lunch he brought to eat.

Mac grinned, her eyes shone admiringly at Harm.

"I won't" She said softly as she sat back down.


	2. Only You

On The Way To Love  
By EyeCandy.  
Disclaimers and such on first chapter.  
  
Author's Notes: Ok... so I fixed up this chapter because the way i had it, didn't work and was hell to continue... so here is the new revamped version! it's basically the same, except I fixed the ending a bit! hope you like!  
  
Chapter 2 Only You  
  
Harm's Apartment  
2000 Zulu  
  
Harm sat on his couch, strumming his guitar. He played a soft melody, one he always ended up playing when his mind wandered on to the topic of Mac.   
  
As his fingers played, he sighed gently. Mac was the woman he needed, the one he wanted. She was his best friend, the one that always watched his back, the only one he'd trust enough to watch his back. She was incredible! so strong and passionate, but also so fragile and small that all he wanted to do when he saw her everyday was to lift her up in his arms and protect her from the harsh world.  
  
He kept strumming. He found that his guitar was the only thing that relaxed him when he got tired or weary. Where others would turn to god or their families for support, he would turn to his guitar and strum away his pain and fear.  
  
He wanted to tell Mac how he felt, but his stupid fear of loosing her stood in the way. which caused her to step away from him. He had almost blown his chances with Her when she was engaged to Mic Brumby. He actually let her go when she asked him what he thought she should do. that was stupid, he should have just blurted out that he loved her, that he wanted her. He should have told her everything that was in his heart right then, but he didn't, her was too afraid. He sighed and mentally kicked himself for being such an idiot.  
  
The sweet melodic tune continued, he was pleased by the way it sounded and absentmindedly thought about writing lyrics to go with it. He hummed along gently, thinking of his Mac... his Sarah.  
  
Deep in thought he didn't realize that his humming was being accompanied by a soft sweet voice, only this time instead of just humming, there was actual words.  
  
_Only you  
can make this world seem right  
Only you  
can make the darkness bright  
Only you and you alone  
can thrill me like you do  
and fill my heart with love for only you  
  
_Harm stopped strumming and looked around for the voice he heard.  
he called out gently, he wasn't sure what he was expecting to find, but he just wanted to know that he wasn't going crazy.  
  
A small girl stepped out from the other side of the couch, startling Harm. The girl was dressed in a while dress, her hair was dark and put up into pigtails.  
Where did you come from? Harm asked as he looked around his apartment, wondering where she could have come from.  
  
it's the song you sing to mommy the girl said, pulling Harm's attention back to the girl.  
  
What? what are you talking about? Harm questioned as he watched the girl sit next to him on the couch.  
  
I'm Mandy... can you keep playing please? she said in a soft voice. Harm stared at the girl, something about her was familiar to him, but he couldn't place what.  
  
Hi Mandy... I'm Harm He smiled at the girl. sure I'll keep playing he said as he started up his guitar again.  
  
Soon the soothing sounds of Harm's guitar surrounded the room and again the little girl's sweet voice sang along.  
  
_Only you  
can make this change in me   
For it's true  
you are my destiny  
When you hold my hand, i understand   
the magic that you do  
You're my dream come true  
my one and only you, only you  
  
_Harm watched Mandy in amazement. She couldn't be any older than 6 or 7 and here she was singing with the prettiest voice he had ever heard. He ended the song and Mandy turned to him, a frown on her face.  
  
Mandy, you have a beautiful voice! how taught you to sing? Harm asked as he took in the little girl's face.  
  
Thank you... I learned to sing from my mom... she can sing too... Mandy smiled at Harm.  
  
Well.. your mother is blessed then Harm said as he put down his guitar. Mandy placed her small hand on Harm's large one. The action caused Harm to look at Mandy.  
  
Mandy said, her voice quiet. You are ready it's time to let go she said. Harm blinked. What was she talking about?  
  
What do you mean Mandy? He asked, confused.  
  
You are ready to take the leap, to let go finally.... don't waste your chance Mandy said as she hopped off the couch.  
  
Take the leap. harm blinked again. Was she telling him to do what he thought she was?  
Mandy... where are you going? He asked as he saw her move away. Mandy smiled and looked back at Harm.  
  
Sing it... sing the song when you leap... it will save you Mandy said softly. Harm was amazed of how much in awe he was of this small child. He looked away at his guitar and smiled. But when he looked back to where Mandy was, she was gone and there was no sign that she was ever there.  
  
Harm rubbed his eyes, then looked again. She was gone. He shook his head, trying to figure out what had just happened, hen a knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.  
  
Harm moved to the door and opened it.  
  
He said, slightly shocked that she was standing there. Mac smiled softly.  
  
Hi Harm... can I come in? she asked as she leaned on the door jam. Harm moved out of the way and gestured for her to enter.   
  
Of course... He said grinning. Mac moved through the door and into the living room. she saw his guitar and smiled.  
  
Where you playing? she asked as she took off her coat and sat down on the couch.  
  
I was... He said as he sat down next to her. He watched her for a moment, and noticed that Mac's hair was the same color as Mandy's. He thought for a moment, but pushed it aside.  
  
I was writing something.... want to hear it? he asked as he picked up his guitar again.  
  
I'd love to Mac said as she shifted to get comfy on the couch. Harm began to strum his guitar again, playing the tune he was fiddling with earlier, his secret Mac song. The soft sweet melody filtered around the apartment, captivating Mac as she listened.  
  
Mac was so into the music that she began to hum along, her voice was sweet and beautiful. Harm listened, it was another part of Mac he didn't know about, but but enjoyed learning. He noticed the similarities between Mac's voice and little Mandy's.   
  
His mind replayed what she had said to him.  
  
_I learned to sing from my mom... she can sing too _Harm's eyes grew round as he continued to remember what the child had said. _You are ready to take the leap, to let go finally.... don't waste your chance _Harm smiled and continued to gaze at Mac.  
  
Could she be who Mandy was talking about? his mind asked. Can I tell her right now that I want her, that I love her? Harms heart began to pound in his chest. He was nervous. the one thing he covetted the most was sitting next to him. He could smell her from here, the flowery scent of gardenias was powerful but seemed to suit her.  
  
Harm breathed in, letting her smell wash over him, filling his nose completely. He groaned inwardly. Damn.  
  
Mac looked up at him, her dark eyes grew concerned. she asked, her voice like velvet to his ears.  
  
You ok? she continued, her face fill of confusion and concern.  
  
Yeah I'm fine.. just zoned out Harm said, covering up the real reason he had stopped strumming.  
  
Ah.. ok then Mac said.  
  
Harm and Mac spent the rest of the night chatting together and laughing at stories they told each other from the past. But the whole time he was with her, little Mandy's words echoed in his mind.


	3. Dream a little dream of me

On The Way to Love  
By EyeCandy  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone that has reviewed! you guys keep me going! Also! Everything in this chapter that is in italics is the subconscious talking. you know when you think and the little voice replies back? thats what I'm talking about. Ok I hope you like it!! oh and the title of this chapter is a classic.. i have no idea who sings it.. but it's not mine.  
  
Chapter 3   
Dream a Little Dream Of Me  
  
Sarah Mackenzie's Residence  
The next morning  
0800 Zulu  
  
The morning sunlight eagerly bombarded the curtains in Sarah Mackenzie's bedroo. She squinted against the harsh light and slowly opened her eyes.  
  
Mac felt great. Everything seemed better today.  
  
_Maybe it's because you spent most of the evening with Harm last night_. Her mind said.  
  
Maybe indeed she answered to herself, with a smile.  
  
Mac slowly moved from her cozy warm bed, not really wanting to leave it. She stretched and the cotton t shirt she wore, lifted gently, revealing the warm skin on her flat stomach.  
  
She looked back at the bed and for an instant her mind visualized Harm on the other side of the bed, still sleeping. She envisioned him with the blankets covering his lower back and legs, leaving most of his back exposed. She was a shoulder girl. She loved shoulders on a man, but more specifically, she loved the shoulders on Harm. His where so broad and strong. The skin was smooth and warm and she felt so safe when she was pressed against them in a hug.  
  
Mac shook her head, ridding herself of the vision, the idea, the dream. No matter how much she wanted this dream to come true, it never would. She remembered little Mandy in the park.  
  
Well... maybe there is a chance... she wondered out loud as she made her way to the kitchen for coffee and something to eat. Her mind wandered again as she past by the bathroom. She looked at her toothbrush from the hallway. She should brush her teeth, but she never understood why people brushed their teeth when they first woke up, when they would just need to brush them again after they ate. It seemed a waste of effort to brush twice.  
  
Mac moved into the kitchen, her bare feet making soft padding noises as she went. Quickly she began to brew her usual coffee, which, as Harm put it, was strong enough to eat through titanium. After that was brewing she pulled out a bag of bagels and some cream cheese and began to toast her bagel.  
  
As she stared down at the toaster, her mind went back to last night, when she had stopped by Harm's apartment. She had no reason to be there, no files to go over, no dinner arrangement with him. She didn't even need his shoulder to cry on this time, unlike so many other times before. The only reason she had for being there was because she wanted to see him,to see him smile at her.   
  
She was head over heels in love with him, and all she wanted was to be close to him, even if she could only be his friend. That would have to do.  
  
Today was saturday. That meant no work. no clients, no needing to be at court, no needing to go into the office today. Today meant she could spend the day lounging in her over stuffed reading chair and soak in some smutty harlequin romance novels.  
  
the concept of that thought put a smile on her face. It had been a while since she had done that.  
  
The bagel popped up cheerily from the toaster and she quickly grabbed and flung it on her plate before it's searing heat could damage her fingers. Gently she spread the cream cheese over the top. She heard the coffee marker beep to indicate that it was done brewing. Smiling, she poured herself some coffee, then picked up her plate and headed to her couch to sit down.  
  
Mac leaned against her couch, coffee cup in one hand her bagel in the other. As she took a bite and a sip she returned her thoughts to last night.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Mac and Harm sat cuddled on his couch. He had one leg under him as the other dangled over the edge of the couch. Mac was sitting indian style in front of him. they watched each other as spoke. She soaked in his handsome face and soulful eyes, while He drank in the color of her hair and full pouty lips.  
  
You want some more coffee? Harm asked as he reached for Mac's cup. As he moved, he felt a jolt of electricity run through him as he gently brushed her hand with his fingertips.   
  
They both stopped. They both looked down at their hands. Each was wanting to so badly be wrapped up in each other's arms.   
Mac was the first to react to the barely there touch on her hand. She gently pulled it away, letting Harm's fingers slide against her skin. The feel of his fingers on her made her shiver.  
  
Quickly she released the coffee cup into Harm's hands.   
  
Yes... please she said, her voice slightly shaky. Harm stared down at her, took her in for a moment, then smiled.  
  
Ok be right back he said as he turned back for the kitchen.  
  
While he was there, her called out to her.  
  
Would you like to get together tomorrow? his voice rang out from the kitchen. Mac's face brightened with a smile.  
  
I would love to... what should we do? she answered back. she wondered what he had in mind.  
  
I thought we could go for a drive... would you like that? Harm asked as he moved from the kitchen to the couch, this time sitting just a little bit closer to her.  
  
Mac accepted the new cup of coffee and smiled.  
  
That sounds like a great plan... pick me up? say... 1000? she asked as she cocked her head to the side slightly.  
  
FLASHBACK ENDS  
  
So that was that. They were going for a drive. It was a date.   
  
_Wait! a date? no.. not a date.. that would mean that we are involved in some way, and we aren't_. Mac's mind clouded with ideas at that moment.  
  
_If it isn't a date, then what is it?_ she asked herself. _We are just friends, that are going for a drive and share each other's company! that's all!_ She retorted.  
  
_Right_.   
She knew that she wanted this to be a date, what woman wouldn't!   
  
_Hello! Harm is gorgeous!_ Her mind spoke up again, and Mac tried to shut it up. It wasn't working.  
  
_You have seen him in his dress whites! Dear Lord in heaven that man could kill you with his smile!_ Mac let out a low moan as she pictured him in those white pants and jacket.  
  
Damn.   
  
She finished her bagel and coffee then checked her internal clock. 0900.   
  
Shower time she said out loud with a grin. Harm will be here in an hour  
  
She quickly headed for the shower. Maybe she would use her gardenia body gel. She knew Harm loved the smell of it on her.


	4. You Make me Feel Like I'm Home Again

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown Virgina

0920 Zulu

Mac took her time in the shower. Her usual 5 minute shower wouldn't do today. She decided as soon as she thought to use her gardenia body gel, that she was going to be luxurious while she got ready to spend the day with Harm. The scent of the gel floated in the air around her, the steam from the shower making it that much more pungent. She spend time of every inch of herself. She checked her internal clock, it had been 20 minutes since she stepped into the shower. That gave her time to dry her hair and find something nice to wear for the day.

She stepped out, wrapping a fluffy purple towel around her torso, it soaking up the water that glistened on her cream coloured skin. She rubbed her long hair with a second towel vigorously, knowing that time was slipping away from her. Next she smoothed cream over her arms and legs, then ran a wide toothed comb through her dark tresses. The blow dryer hummed gently as she whisked away any wetness that was still in her hair, which made her hair fluff out from the heat. Soon it was dry and her brush was shaping it the way she wanted it to be. She looked in the mirror. She saw herself there, but she was different. The tired look around her eyes was faded today. The purple hue that seem omnipresent under eyes was but an after thought now. Her skin looked rested, looked youthful for the first time in a while. A flush of pink cascaded over her cheeks just then. She knew it was because of Harm. Because of the little girl she was seeing everywhere now. It was just fleeting glances of the girl now. From that day she first saw Mandy, all she saw now were little girls in white dresses with pigtails. She wondered if it was her mind playing tricks on her, or if "Mandy" was keeping an eye on her, making sure she would do as she was told.

Mac was excited to be spending the day with Harm. Maybe she'd feel comfortable enough to tell him how she felt. She certainly hoped so. She hoped that she would find the courage to do what had seemed impossible only days before.

She checked the time again. 9:45am.

It was time to dress. Harm would be coming in a few minutes. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest. Her rib cage seemed 3 sizes to small to hold it.

"Calm Down" She whispered to herself. She willed her heart to slow down. She walked to her room and went to her closet., turning on the CD player as she passed it. A favorite song started up. The New Adele Cd was in the player.

She'd find something to wear, then return to the bathroom to put on her make up. As she rifled through her closet, she couldn't decide on what to wear. She knew that she'd wear a sundress today. The weather was lovely, warm and sunny. She wanted to take advantage of the sunshine and allow her winter ragged skin some time in the sun. She started singing along to the lyrics.

Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am home again

Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again

In the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a pretty dress she hadn't worn in a while. It was blue with tiny white flowers on it. She walked over and fingered the fabric. "Yes, this will do nicely" she said as she took it off the hanger and laid it on the bed. With in a few minutes she was dressed and headed to the bathroom again to finish up her morning routine. Brush her teeth, put on her makeup, run the brush through her hair one more time and then with a final glace in the mirror, she was ready. And with 5 minutes to spare.

Sarah started getting anxious as she watched the clock tick by. Would he be late like usual? She wished if he was going to be late, that he'd phone and tell her so. She really hated waiting around feeling all giddy like a school girl. Her heart cautiously thumped a little faster. She didn't want to hope for him to actually show up on time.

She counted out the time in her head, 1 minute a 35 seconds to go. Her heart fluttered a bit faster. 34, 33, 32

There was a knock on the door.

Her heart STOPPED instantly.

She flew to the door and opened it.

It was HIM.

Harmon Rabb stood there, smiling in a light tee shirt and blue jeans that were faded from use.

"Hey Mac" he said soothingly. Her heart thudded back into existence at the sound of his voice.

"Hey Harm" she smiled shyly as she tried to control the pounding in her chest. She was quite sure he could hear it as it was booming against her chest like a kettle drum.

"Are you ready?" he asked her. She nodded her response, picked up her purse and a light jacket from the coat hook to her left and passed through the doorway to him.

As she turned to lock her door, Harm caught a whiff of her body gel. The scent made him weak in the knees. He had caught the same scent before on other women he had dated in the past, or maybe he thought he had. All he knew was that it was Sarah that made the scent that much more appealing to him. The mix of her feminine odor against the smell of the gardenia flower was like heaven to him. He caught himself leaning in slightly and taking a not so subtle sniff.

The ache in Harm's chest glowed hotter with Her around. Her scent, her walk, the very presence of her made him ache with every fibre of his being. She was turning then, back toward him and he quickly composed himself as her best friend again.

"So, Where are we going" she asked smiling.

He grinned. "The Beach" he said as he took her hand and lead her to the car.


	5. Stopped Me From Shaking

Stopped Me From Shaking - On The Way To Love Chapter 5

Harm's Car

Heading to Mac's Apartment

0940 Zulu

He was giddy. He was sure of that. He had this stupid, goofy grin on his face since he woke up this morning. The first thing on his mind was Mac. Of course that always put the stupid grin on his face.

He flicked on the right hand single as he approached the main road into the Georgetown area.

He was going to spend the whole day with her and he had been so excited about all morning. Yes he was very giddy. He had decided that he was going to tell her that he loved her, that he wanted only her, that he wanted a family and a house and a dog with her. He liked the idea of that. They'd get a Bernese, he thought. He'd always thought of that breed when thinking about his life with Sarah. The breed reminded of her. Beautiful, loyal and suspicious. That was his Sarah. His Sarah. He liked the sound of that. He wanted to put his name on her. He wanted everyone to know that they were together. He liked the idea of Sarah changing her name from Mackenzie to Rabb. Sarah Rabb… Yeah that sounded good.

He was coming up to another 4 way stop. He slowed the car down and idled, waiting for the light to change.

He had a picnic in the truck, some cider and his guitar. He was going to do it today. Like Mandy had said to. With the song. Seeing that little girl that day bolstered his courage. He was going to take Mandy's encouragement and run with it. Well maybe not literally. He was going to make this day perfect. Picnic and a day at the beach. He hoped that Sarah would take the attention he was going to be giving her as a positive thing.

He had watched how her past relationships failed, he killed him inside that all these men just saw her at face value. She was much more then a pretty face and a hot body. He wasn't going to kid himself, Her body was one of the things that attracted him to her. No straight man on earth would say different, and if they did, they were lying. Her curves fit him in places he dare not think about. Her skin, warm and smooth, felt like velvet to his touch. He loved the way her hair shined a auburn colour when in the sunlight, A throw back from her Gaelic roots he guessed.

But It was her eyes that caught him the most. Deep brown, like pools of chocolate, always seemed to look through him, past him.. Or maybe into him? He couldn't guess, or maybe he didn't want to.

He shook his head and pull himself from his daydream, the car that had appeared behind him gave him a quick honk to remind him that he wasn't alone on this road and that the light had changed to green.

He signalled right and turned when he was sure the way was clear. 10 more minutes and he'd be at her door. He checked the time on his car's radio, 9:50 am it read.

"Right on time" he grinned to himself. He was determined to be on time today. To surprise her, to show her that she meant something to him.

He was getting nervous now, as the recognisable landmarks flew past him. "Ok" he told himself aloud. "Relax, it's just Mac" Oh but it wasn't just Mac, oh no. This was the start to the rest of his life. He couldn't fool himself anymore.

He saw her building up ahead on the left. Oddly, it felt comforting to see it. He turned the car into the visitor parking area and turned off the engine.

He sat for a minute, allowing his breath to slow before getting out of the car. That would be easier said than done it seemed.

Exiting his car, he pushed the auto lock on his keychain and headed to the elevator and up to Mac's apartment.

His shook excitedly, his nervousness taking control. The closer he got to her door, the more he could feel his whole body vibrate.

He knocked on her door and a second later it flew open, revealing Sarah. The breath hitched in his throat for a second and he quietly let it out. His eyes devoured her, while trying to be subtle about it.

Harm smiled. "Hey Mac" he soothed. That blue dress fit her perfectly. She looked spectacular in it.

"Hey Harm" she smiled back.

"Are you ready?" he asked, watching as she nodded her reply and grabbed a jacket and her purse from behind the door. He watched how her bare arms moved gracefully in just a normal task. He wanted to reach out and touch her skin, feel it under his finger tips. He had to restrain himself for now, he didn't want to spook her and he didn't want her thinking that all he wanted from her was her body. No he wanted much more than that.

Sarah turned to lock her apartment door. The air she displaced while doing so, wafted to Harm's nose.

Gardenias.

He leaned in slightly to take a whiff of the scent. Only to smile when he filled his lungs with her.

It was painful to be around her. A good kind of pain, if there was such a thing. Pain so exquisite that you begged for more.

Harm noticed that she was turning back around again, and composed himself back into the friend that he was to her.

"So where are we going" Sarah asked, a curious look in her eyes.

"The beach" he said as he grabbed her hand and led her back down to where his car was waiting for them.

"The beach.. Is that all you are going to tell me?" she asked her playful side coloring her words.

He gave her one of his mysterious grins as he opened the passenger side door to his car and helped her in.

"Oh I see, being all gentlemanly are we?" she asked humorously. Again he didn't answer her.

He got in, started the car and turned on the radio.

_Well you came and you gave without takingAnd I sent you away, oh MandyAnd you kissed me and stopped me from shakingAnd I need you today, oh Mandy_

_The well known Manilow was playing. Harm, wondering if it was a sign, snuck a glace at Sarah. She was staring at him._

"_I like this song… It reminds me of someone" She said, offhandedly. Harm nodded._

"_I like it too" he stated, not sure if he should tell her about Little Mandy or not._

_Sarah let it drop then, but she was in deep thought for most of the ride to the beach. Harm wondered what was on her mind, that made her be to quiet. Usually he could coax a story about her life in the marines, out of her on long trips._

_He watched her through flitting glances of the road. Her concentrated stare was now turning into a wistful smile. As if she was watching a memory in front of her eyes._

"_Penny for your thoughts?" he asked, whispering. _

_She smiled and looked over at him._

"_Oh just thinking of what could be" she murmured back, still somewhat dazed._

"_Oh? Care to elaborate?" his voice calm and soothing._

_Sarah thought for a moment. Allowing the imagines of meeting Mandy flood her eyes._

"_Oh just thinking about where my life is going, what I want, who I want it with" She said with a hint of a smile playing on her lips._

_Harm found this topic slightly frightening and completely fascinating. Should he ask her more? To go into detail? He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear more, if it some how didn't involve him. He decide to do the diplomatic route._

"_I sometimes think about the same things" He stated. "I wonder what my life would be like 10 years from now, if I'd be married and have a house full of children"_

_Sarah whipped her head around to look at him._

"_You think about kids?" she asked, surprised. Her eyes wide with interest._

"_Of course, doesn't everyone?" he asked, eyed her with a grin. _

_Sarah's heart leaped. "How many?"_

_Harm thought for only a split second._

"_Four" he nodded to himself. "3 daughters and a son" He sounded so sure of himself._

_Sarah wondered why only one son. If it were her, she'd have as many sons as she could. She thought for a second. No, she'd have as many of HIS sons as she could. With each of them looking exactly like Harm in everyway. She shivered gently at that thought. Of course any child with Harm would be a miracle in of itself._

_The sadness clouded her eyes for a moment. She knew that she may never be able to have Harm's children. Heck! Or anyone's children for that matter. Her Endometriosis gave her a less than 5% chance of conceiving. The thought of never being someone's mother that way wounded her deeply._

_Harm saw the sad look play across her face. He was about to ask her what had cause the sudden change in attitude, when that look vanished._

"_I've always wanted four children as well" she said simply. "Four seems like a good number" Harm nodded in agreement._

"_If you could choose, what would you have?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation light and fun._

"_Oh I'm partial to boys myself" she said. That surprised him. Now he was intrigued._

_He was pulling up to the beaches parking lot just then, startled by the simple fact that 45 minutes had gone by so quickly._


	6. Daydream Believin'

Bethesda Beach

Harm and Mac

1100 Zulu

"Here we are" He said as he stopped the car and turned to look at her. She was far away again. He watched her face flick from emotion to emotion at see whatever it was she saw in front of her memory's eye.

"Ready?" he whispered to her, trying not to startle her.

She heard him call to her. Her mind in full memory mode now. Mandy's eyes and hair flicked into view from the other day again. The bouncy curls moving rhythmically to her steps. She wanted this image to be real.

"Yes I'm ready" she sad, sadness colouring her words.

"If you don't want to go to the beach, it's totally ok Sarah, We'll go where ever you want" Harm said, concern in his voice. He hated that look she had on her face. He wanted her to be happy and for some reason, at this moment she was not happy.

Sarah looked over at Harm when he used her name. He hardly ever used her real name. She loved when he said it.

"No! I'm sorry! I want to go to the beach" she returned. Translation: I just want to be with you.

"I was deep in thought, I'm sorry. I promise to be more entertaining for the rest of the day. She smiled wide, hoping to please him. His eyes though seemed concerned.

"Really Harm, I want to go to the beach" she urged him. He nodded and squeezed her hand.

They got out of the car and Harm opened the trunk and gathered the picnic basket, a blanket and his guitar.

"Here, Let me help" Sarah said, holding out her hands for the blanket and basket.

He smiled as he handed them over.

Together they walked toward the beach, the wind reminding them that it was a warm spring day.

Finding a good spot, the laid down the blanket and began up packing the picnic.

Sarah eyed the bottle of what looked to be wine.

"Don't worry, It's sparkling cider" Harm comforted. Sarah relaxed.

"So, what did you make me, Flyboy?" Sarah asked, her hunger had crept up on her. Harm laughed.

"Greek Chicken Salad Sandwich on Turkish flatbread for you" he said handing it to her.

Sarah accepted it greedily.

"And a Portobello burger with arugala and vegan mayo for me" He unwrapped his sandwich and watched as Sarah took her first bite.

Sarah bit into her sandwich with relish, savouring the Greek taste to what is normally a boring sandwich.

"OH! YUM!" she exclaimed as she chewed. Smiling with her mouth full.

He chuckled at the sight of her.

"You know, I like it when you are happy" he said between bites. Sarah looked at him.

"Well I like being around you Harm, You make me happy" She said as she finished her bite.

"Do I?" he asked eying her. "Really and truly?" he put his burger down then.

She nodded, feeling as though this conversation was about to get serious.

"Really and truly" she said honestly. She started to shake a bit, sitting on the beach with him.

"Look, Harm…" She started, trying to calm herself.

Harm's eye widened. She's going to say something I won't like He thought.

"I really…" She went on, unsure how to actually say it.

Harm started to freak out inside. What should I do! He thought. The guitar! Get your guitar out, you moron! His mind screamed at him.

Harm quickly grabbed his guitar. She was still stumbling for the words she wanted to say.

He started strumming, essentially cutting her off. You better do this now, or you'll regret it. He told himself.

He played her song. The one Mandy had provided words for.

She stared at him, annoyed that he had cut her off.

"I wrote this for you" he stated before he began to sing. "This is how I feel about you."

Only you can make this world seem rightOnly you can make the darkness brightOnly you and you aloneCan thrill me like you doAnd fill my heart with love for only you

Harm looked at Sarah as he sang. And in turn Sarah's face flickered with emotion.

Sarah Mackenzie's heart thudded painfully in her chest. That 3 sizes to small feeling was taking over again.

He was mirroring how she felt! She was sure this was some kind of dream unfolding in front of her. She wasn't used to getting what she wanted out of life.

The Hard-headed Marine in her, made her fight for everything. Work for what she had. This was unnatural to her, being handed what she needed. Although she was slightly skeptable of this display in front of her, how could she not be, after being hurt by men so many times before. When she looked into Harm's eyes, she felt the truth there, saw the love. She blushed a deep pink across her cheeks. Her heart pounded faster and faster. She began to yern for his touch.Only you can make this change in meFor it's true, you are my destinyWhen you hold my handI understand the magic that you doYou're my dream come trueMy one and only you

Harm hoped that the song would work like Mandy said it was. Here he was taking a huge leap of faith here, on the advice of a apparition he had. He strummed a few more lines after he finished singing.

When he was finished He looked up at her. What would he find there?

Sarah was crying. The silent kind of tears, Ones the slipped past the barriers of her eye lids and crept down her smooth cheek. But what Harm didn't know that, they were happy tears, gloriously happy tears.

"Oh Sarah! I'm so sorry" Without thinking he swept her up into his arms, holding tightly against his chest.

"I didn't want to make you cry" he whispered, then he kissed her wet cheeks, which was completely uncharacteristic of him. Sarah melted into his embrace, snuggling against the only man she truly loved.

She tilted her head to look at him.

"Harm… That was beautiful" she said, wiping her tears away. She leaned up on her tip toes and kissed him gently. Shock ran though Harm like lightening in sand. Sarah could feel the jolt that went through Harm as she kissed him, she waited for him to recover as she kissed him. She felt his lips spring into action and kiss her back tenderly.

Harm was engrossed in the kiss. His brain unable to truly understand what exactly was happening, but he knew he felt her lips on his, the warmth of them. The softness, the passion in the kiss. He was sure of that. He didn't really know what this would mean for the future but he was certain this was a good sign. He was letting his guard down now, allowing himself to enjoy this kiss. He asked a little more from Sarah, and she reacted in kind.

"Harm? Harm?" He heard her voice then. He wondered how she could speak with his lips on hers.

Suddenly he felt her hand on his arm. This jerked him from what was now just a daydream.

"Hmm?" he looked around then. Sarah was 2 ft away from him on the blanket, taking the last few bites of her sandwich.

"Are you ok? You drifted off there for a minute" she said. Harm looked around him then. His guitar was still in it's case. He was confused. Hadn't he played for her? Didn't they just share a passionate kiss?

Harm Looked at Sarah then. No It was all just a dream! He closed his eyes and shook his head.

It was all just a dream.


	7. Finally

One the Way to Love

Chapter 7 - Finally

Bethesda Beach

Harm and Mac

1200 Zulu

Mac's POV

"Do I ?" He asked her. "Really and Truly?" He looked at her, His surprise and hope bleeding through him.

Sarah nodded truthfully. Yes it was true. He was the only man that ever made her happy, truly happy. Sure she had been happy with Brumby and Webb, on the surface at least. But she understood now why those relationships failed. While they comforted her, and they appreciated her, it was all superficial. Deep down they weren't what she wanted. She had been waiting for Harm. Always waiting for him. When she looked back on their years together as friends, it seemed like they would get in the way of each other. It would either be, she would run to the wrong man, or Harm would be so full of himself that he'd push her away.

Like the time she was set to marry Mic. She wouldn't allow the ceremony to start unless Harm was there. She couldn't take that step without him. She knew subconsciously that if Harm was there, she would never go through with the Wedding and she would never really be happy with Mic, like she knew she would be with Harm.

She glanced at the shore line, digging her fingers into the cold sand.

"Look Harm…" she started. She watched as the sand slipped between her fingers then. Remembering what Mandy had said. ~ Where ever you are, I will be~

"I really really am tired of being your friend…" She began again, fully intending to end this crazy charade that She and Harm had going for the past 10 years. She didn't just want to be his friend anymore. She wanted to be his. Plain and simple. She wanted to come home after work and curl up with him and be the woman of his dreams. She wanted permission to rip his clothes off and make love to him. She wanted him in every aspect of her life.

She was about to explain further but when she looked into his eyes, she realized he wasn't there. He was far away. It was a look she had seen many times before and always wondered where he went while he is away like that. She knew if this little talk went the way she wanted it to, then she'd get to ask him where he went every so often.

She watched him. Her eyes flicking over his body in a not so subtle way. She loved the way he was made. Her eyes lingered over his shoulders then, wanting to kiss them and caress them lovingly. She knew he might find her watching him, eying him like a piece of raw meat. So she forced herself to move on. When she hit his face, she melted a little. Perfect lips for kissing she thought. She watched as his expression changed from relaxation to immediate anxiety. She wondered what was going on inside his head just then. When the expression didn't change, she started to get worried. But then suddenly his face went , what she could only label as Gooey. A face that is in complete joy, like when you bite into your favourite dessert for the first time. She grinned a little then decided to remind him that she was still here.

"Harm?" She spoke softly. No response. "Harm?" she spoke again, this time touching his arm. Her jerked then, surprising himself at the feel of her touch. He had pulled himself from his reverie then, but confusion played across his face. She hadn't seen that look in a long time.

"Are you ok? You drifted off for a minute" she said gently.

Harm looked around him, still confused. Sarah tilted her head to the side, wondering what he had seen.

"Hmm?" He asked will dazed.

"Are you ok?" She was now concerned. Sarah moved closer to him and touched his cheek. This forced Harm to look at her.

"What happened?" she asked completely serious now. Her eyes flickered all over his face, trying to understand why he was so confused, trying to find pain or some other alarming emotion on his face.

She watched as Harm shook his head as if to rid himself of his confusion then. Panic started to set in. She had never seen him this disoriented before, ever. It scared her. Harm was her compass, her strength, if he was lost….

She wouldn't think about that.

"Seriously Harm… You are scaring me" she said quietly. She looked into his eyes again. She suddenly felt warmth moving up her back from her hips to her shoulder blade. It was his hand sliding up. It's heat was like fire to her cooled skin. The look in his eyes was of hunger, of need. She gasped almost silently when she recognised the look.

"Sarah…" he said in a voice that was full of pain, love and desire. She leaned into him then, moving closer but still not touching him.

"Yes" Her voice sounded distant to her now.

"I…I.." He stuttered. She saw him breath in then, As if to take in her scent, or maybe some courage.

She looked at him patiently, waiting for him to speak.

"I… Wrote you something…" he stated and then let the air out of his lungs. That was not what she thought would come out of his mouth.

She leaned away then. "Pardon?" she asked slightly perplexed.

He shifted away from her. "A song… I wrote you a song" he was finally able to string to coherent words together now.

"Oh…." she whispered. "Oh ok… will you play it for me?" she asked, feeling rejected.

He nodded then, watching her. "Sarah… I wrote this because…" He thought for a minute then.

Because? Because WHAT! Her mind screamed. She was annoyed now. He had her in his lap practically and he didn't flip her over and make her squeal with joy from his touch and kiss. And now he wanted to play her a song? She didn't get him sometimes.

"Because I'm terrible at saying how I really feel" he finally said. "I'm hoping that this makes you understand everything"

She looked at him again then nodded. He then reached for his Guitar and started to play it.

She watched him start off, a gentle tune of soft notes and loving melody.

She was surprised when he began to sing, She knew he had a wonderful voice, but he so very rarely used it that it was always lovely to hear it.

Only you can make this world seem rightOnly you can make the darkness brightOnly you and you aloneCan thrill me like you doAnd fill my heart with love for only you

Sarah let the words wash over her. Her eyes closing, at first not noticing the words, not until the last line of the paragraph.

Her eye flashed open then, a gasp catching in her throat. She starred at Harm, He was starring back. His eyes held nothing but love in them.

Only you can make this change in meFor it's true, you are my destinyWhen you hold my handI understand the magic that you doYou're my dream come trueMy one and only you

When Harm's Voice came to a gentle end, his fingers strummed a few bars more then ended just as gently.

The Sounds of his guitar ringing long after he stopped playing. The Void became silent them in that moment. She starred at him, He at her.

Then the universe existed with just the two of them in that moment, like a breath waiting to be taken in. Sarah stared, again her eyes flicking over his face. Her gave her a smile then, filled with love.

Sarah moved back over to him, her lips inches away now. "I love you too" she whispered as she kissed him, lightly pressing her lips to his. She quickly become enamoured with the feel of them and pressed him for more. He was enjoying this, she could tell, He was keeping up with her kisses, maybe even hungry for them. He moaned then, or was it a moan? She wasn't sure, at that moment she didn't care and pressed him again for more. She felt his hand on her shoulder, pushing. He moaned again.

"Sar…ah" he managed between kisses. She sat up, looking at him. Her lips flushed with colour.

"Please don't take this the wrong way…" he started, her heart sank a little. "You have no idea how much I want you right now" he said, reaching up to place a warm hand on her cheek. "I've waited for so long for this" he whispered, as he rubbed his thick thumb over her slightly bruised lips.

"But I want to do this right…" he said emphatically, looking her right in the eyes. "You deserve to be courted, Sarah" he kissed her jaw line. "To be shown how important you really are" he kissed the other side of her jaw line then. "To be given flowers everyday, just because your worth it" he kissed the tip of her nose then.

"I won't cheapen what we have, I won't cheapen you by diving into a physically relationship right away…." he said as he ran two fingers though a strand of her long hair. "You are so much more than that to me" he said honestly. He watched her for a moment, her eyes still dark with need and want, but he could see a sense of happiness behind that.

"Ok Harm…" she smiled and cuddled into him. "I don't mind being courted, by you" she said simply.

Inside she was blown away. She was expecting to give herself to him right on this very beach, but he resisted her advances. At first she was dismayed, but once he explained that he wanted a relationship, a real one first, not one based on sex… she loved him even more.

Her beauty had always gotten in the way of her relationships, Woman were always telling her how lucky she was to be that beautiful, but in reality, she was mostly used by the men in her life. A Sexual object is how she was seen by most. Harm was different, he wanted HER, not her body.

She cuddled closer and sighed. He wrapped his large arms around her and held her. She felt so tiny then, against him, but so safe at the same time. They fit together perfectly and she loved that.

"This is the best day ever" she said contented. He nodded. "The best" he confirmed as they watched the waves beat against the shoreline. They were together, finally. After all these years, they were here together, had professed their love for each other and no one interrupted, no disastrous situation occurred, no one was getting married, at least not that that moment. It worked!, Like Mandy had said.

Sarah smiled at the thought of little Mandy, She hoped that Mandy would become real now that she and Harm were together. She wanted to be Her mother and have harm be her father. She hoped with everything in her being that the vision of Mandy would come to fruition.


End file.
